How many places can you really be yourself and feel free to speak your mind? I’d guess you can count them on one hand.

When I was living in cramped a guest house in Tokyo, I used to wander the city trying out different cafes and bars looking for somewhere to fit in for a while.

Without close family, where can you go? Without realising it at the time, I was looking for an 居場所 IBASHO (a place where one fits in / can be oneself)

I thought of this idea of IBASHO while watching Spilling the Beans at a Coffee Stall - Document 72 Hours - TV | NHK WORLD-JAPAN Live & Programs

The program profiles Cafe Aragi, a portable coffee stand propped up on the side of a main road in Ashikaga, a small city north of Tokyo.

The charm of the place is definitely not the grey roadside location or the depth of the menu. It’s the warm community feel amongst the regulars.

A psychiatrist who is a regular at Aragi described the relationship amongst the customers:

「まったく利害関係がない」 MATTAKU RIGAI KANKEI GA NAI (NHK translation: We’re not connected in anyway).

The MATTAKU emphasises the negative part of this sentence, the NAI.

The RIGAI KANKEI means a relationship of profit and loss. Customers don’t have this kind of relationship that colours so many people’s usual everyday encounters. Customers just come to relax and be themselves.

His next expression could easily be said about Brighton:「いろんな人がいる」 IRONNA HITO GA IRU which literally means ‘there are all sorts of people here’. The NHK translation was: You can meet many people here).

The word IRONNA (various) is added before a noun and is a colloquial version of IROIRO (various). Being a bit people-curious, I always hear ‘IRONNA HITO GA IRU’ as an enticing prospect.

The psychiatrist also said of the relationship amongst customers:「距離感がすこしある」 KYORIKAN GA SUKOSHI ARU (NHK translation: We’re not too close).

The word 距離感 KYORIKAN (feeling of distance) is interesting. Feeling some distance between others could seem negative. But in the cafe’s case, this gap between customers strengthens the relationship. They don’t feel too intruded on, their privacy is respected.

In the end, the psychiatrist says the customers are: 「親しい」 SHITASHII (NHK translation: We’re friends).

SHITASHII is a lovely adjective, written with the kanji for parent: 親. SHITASHII literally means ‘close / intimate’ in the sense of understanding each other and not hiding things.

As in the pronunciation of あした ASHITA (tomorrow0, the first ‘i’ sound in SHITASHII is almost silent. Thankfully in this case, it wouldn’t sound nearly as nice a word if the ‘i’ was fully pronounced.

As long as the cafe exists, customers have a refuge from the stress of everyday life. 居場所がある　 IBASHO GA ARU (they have a place to fit in/belong)

A young male IT employee says he goes there every Friday night for a break from the screen:「花金じゃない」 HANAKIN JA NAI (It’s not ‘flower Friday’ - it’s not Friday late night partying)

Whereas others his age may head to bars, he says:「お酒飲めない」 O-SAKE NOMENAI (I can’t drink alcohol). This expression can be a useful way of getting out of unwanted pressure to socialise with colleagues after work.

Encounters in the cafe have changed some customer’s lives forever. We hear one saying 「ここで出会って結婚した親戚がいる」KOKO DE DEATTE KEKKON SHITA SHINSEKI GA IRU (I have a relation who met someone here and got married).

Cafe Aragi has been connecting people for almost 50 years, and is run by the 70 year old son of the original owner. It’s an amazing place, but I wouldn’t recommend asking for a ‘chai latte’.

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